I, Matlock 61, HNIC, Grand Poo-Bah of All Things Virile, make it a habit to frequent other blogs, in an attempt to mine their wit/wisdom, and, more importantly, to see what is on White People’s collective minds.
One really, REALLY good place for this is the Ask A Manager Blog
Ms. Alison Green runs it with an supple leather fist. She’s straightforward, and I lean a lot by reading her stuff.
One of her peeps, poor thing, expressed a desire to meet The One. Or, something like that.
It really touched me, right here (motions to NW quadrant of chest), and I realized that there are scores of females who are looking for The One.
I, Matlock 61, Grand Pooh Bah of all Things Virile and Testosterone-Soaked, will perform a Public Service!
I will reveal the secret to Getting a Man To Fall Head-Over-Heels In Luv With You!
Yes, YOU! You can be loved, “til Death Do You Part” (Or Legally Separate)
But, I hear you say plaintively, “How, Dr. M???”
Step One: Get the plaintive out of your voice! Desperation to a man is like insect repellent; it runs us off!
Act like you got 100 mo’fo’s line up, just drooling for a chance @ your phone number!
Step 2–Dress like you got some dignity, please! We do not want to see your breasts on a first date!
Remember, for a man, there are two kinds of women: women you play with, and women you stay with!
Put that short skirt on, and that titty-huggin’ top on, and it instantly transforms you into a Woman to be Played With. Like a tennis raquet, or a golf club, to be used and enjoyed, and put up for safekeeping, for the next time for fun and games.
No Future There!
Dress with dignity and class, and you transform yourself into a Woman to Stay with. The kind that gets introduced to Momma.
Trick 3: Insist on first-class treatment. Expect doors to be opened, expect dinner to be paid for. He must be made to pay for the pleasure of your company, not the other way around. He’s not the prize, you are.
Keep your drawers on, and your feet on the floor. Make him commit, and limit your conversations about sex.
Flies in the face of conventional wisdom, don’t it?
What you must understand is that men are hunters. They are after game. The harder it is ti obtain a prize, the more valuable it is.
Salami is common–you can go to the gas station and purchase some. Diamonds, however, have to be purchased at select stores. Piggly-Wiggly don’t sell diamonds, do they? So, don’t be available and common–be difficult to find and pursue.
And, finally, if you want a c-a-r-a-t, you better know what to do with a c-a-r-r-o-t! And a p-o-t-a-t-o! And a s-t-e-a-k!
Get the picture???