Dear Dr. M: How much should my fiancee spend on our wedding? I’ve suggested what I thought was a reasonable (but modest) budget, but all she did was roll her eyes and erased my figures! We can’t afford this, and our parents refuse to help! HELP ME!
Going Broke in Shreveport
“…Help me! Help me!…”
Oh, excuse me, I was watching an old movie on TV called The Fly. You kinda remind me of him, spider and all. Only difference is, your spider has two legs instead of eight. Plus, she has boobs.
The spider has a web. Your fiancee has boobs. Same difference, except you can get rid of the spider…
Anyway, I must admit to being helpless to save you, m’boy. Might I suggest a good bankruptcy lawyer to help you in your time of need? My cousin’s law firm, Matlock, Bunko, Skinner & Grin, Attorneys-at-Law & Massage Parlor has over 33 weeks experience in bankruptcy procedures. Ask for Clyde with the gold tooth to help you. He has a way with the ladies, and, for a small fee, he will sweet-talk your fiancee problem right off your hands. Don’t worry, he’s gay, but, by the time he lets her know, you’ll be long gone!
In the future, remember this bit of advice from Grandpa Matlock: before you offer a c-.
a-r-a-t, make sure she knows what to do with a c-a-r-r-o-t. As well as a p-o-t-a-t-o.
Pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down?