Black Church, Part 3

Black Church, Part 3

 

Now, the guitar player, that’s a whole ‘nother story. His name Jody.

His momma named him right. Yes, she did.

 

In case you didn’t know, White people, “Jody” is an icon in Black Culture for the boyfriend your girlfriend/wife got that you don’t know about.

 

“Aint no sense in going home, Jody’s got yo’ gal and gone…”

 

Here, take a look @ this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgGhKR9rEWk

 

This nigga here? He’ll screw anything that aint nailed down. When he smile @ you, if you’re male, all that means is he done spotted your sister/momma/grandmaw/whomever, and all he’s missing is a condom.

 

If you’re female, well, you’re probably getting moist right about now.

 

Hopefully.

 

‘Cause it really don’t matter to him, not a bit.

 

Wet, dry, eight to eighty, blind, cripple, or crazy, it’s all good to him.

 

But, he can make that guitar hop, and that’s why Rev. keeps him on. Even after Rev. caught him in the Sunday School room with Miz Rev doing the double-butt shuffle, Rev said, “Now, by rights, I should’a shot both of ‘em, but the boy play that gee-taw so damn good, I let ‘em slide.” Which is pretty much what Jody was doin’ with Miz Rev….

 

I’ll tell you more about the Pastor’s wife later, ‘cause that’s a whole ‘nother story…aw, hold on a minute…

 

Hell! Here come Sister Brown, steppin’ up to the mike. She gonna ask Rev. if she can “sing her song,” and he gonna be nice and tell her “okay”.

 

Whaddya mean, “be nice?”

 

Just wait….

 

You’re gonna see…….there!

 

Now you understand! That’s right, the heifer can’t sing.

 

Lawd a’mercy, she sound like a bulldog fartin’ in a jug! Every Third Sunday of the month, she climb up on that platform, and grab that mike like she Aretha Franklin, gonna tear the church up!……..and don’t do schit.

 

‘Cause she can’t sing.

 

Not a lick.

 

Actually, this brings me to an important point for you White people…

 

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Renae Zachary on May 30, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    This is hilarious!

    Reply

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