Welcome! (Part 4)

 

Where was I? Oh, the “down-lo” brother….

If/when he’s discovered by the general population, he immediately loses status, and after the shock and scandal wears off, he falls into the level of the common gay male. You’d be surprised at who the down-lo brothers are. We think Oprah’s fiancée is one. He may not be but he’s charged with it. There are a few others, but you don’t really need to know. Public “outing” falls into the category of snitching, so you have to be kinda careful with that.

(We’re allergic to snitches. For the most part, anyway. Unless it’s for the good of the neighborhood, like snitching on BS wannabe gangbangers who terrorize perfectly good neighborhoods. One day, I’ll talk about that, but not today.)

Personally, I have been friends with a couple of guys who I found out later was on the down-lo. This was years ago, before the term came into use. Once I found out, it didn’t make a difference to me, I raised an eyebrow at my first hearing about it, and waited to see how long it would take for them to tell me. They never did, I never brought it up. One of them, his bootie buddy (add that to your lexicon, it refers to his secret partner. It’s not a negative term, just a descriptive one.) claims another set (runs in a different circle of friends.

Why didn’t I just say that?

Teaching you the language of your  President’s culture. That’s why I’m here, remember? I know I tend to jump subjects a bit, like I told you earlier, it’s a conversation we’re having, with a roomful of brothers. If you’re not used to it, you tend to get lost. Take a deep breath, and focus.)

Second category: the bisexual. No nickname, per se, he just “goes both ways.” You wiggle your hand while saying it. Watch an old episode of Sanford and Son, Redd Foxx does it perfectly.

Sidebar: SAS was one of the last TV shows to use the n-word in prime time. It wasn’t in the script, Redd had a delightfully bad habit of ad-libbing without warning. You can tell when he would do it, LaWanda Paige (Esther) was the only one who could keep a straight face. Rollo and Lamont would sit on the sidelines and laugh thier butts off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab9plpNU3tE     (See?)

Speaking of LaWanda, one of the funny ironies of SAS was the fact that she played the strait-laced character Esther the Church Woman. Back in the 60’s, LaWanda produced the raunchiest so-called “party records” with old-school comics Pigmeat Markham and Dolemite. When I say raunchy, I mean triple-XXX with a twist. She’d say stuff that would make a pimp blush. I wish I could include a line or two, but all I could type would be asterisks. Malaaco Records redid them all in CD format, do a Google search if you want one. “The Signifying Monkey” is a good one to begin with. But, make sure your kids are at the babysitter’s.

What does all of this have to do with bisexuals? Nothing, they’re not a big deal where we are concerned. (There’s not much to say about them, so I’m using this space for filler.) One of my old friends happens to be one. When he’s in a relationship with a female, he dresses in jeans and khakis. When he’s with a male, he wears tweeds and silk blends. And a hat. One of you guys who have some insight into this, please explain it to me? I have no clue as to why. I asked him once, he answered me, but I still don’t get it. You straight guys, put your hand down, you don’t know, either.

Some Black women really go for bi-guys: there’s actually two schools of thought. Some females have that old mother instinct, the idea that states, “He just needs a good woman, somebody that understands his issues.”

 

Uh-huh.

 

Yeah, right.

Other, more honest females, come right out with it. Let me quote one: “A man that can make another man holler? Bro. Man can butter my biscuit any time he wants to.”

‘Nuff said.

 

More later…..

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